The Kitten Bowl Has Absolutely Nothing on the Puppy Bowl

Some background: Kitten bowl, according to a hallmark press release, will be annual. It will be presented in conjunction with the American Humane Association. It will stream at home. Hallmark's “top tier Original Movie talent” will seve as judges, referees, and trainers. (So Kellie Martin will definitely participate, right?) It will stream live. Home viewers will vote for the Most Valuable Kitten. And all the kitties will compete in some sort of feats of agility thing. “In a typical feline agility contest, acat would complete between six and fourteen obstacles, with winning cats completing thecourse in ten seconds or less,” the release explains. “In ‘Kitten Bowl,' however, the competitors are kittens and anyform of cuteness is the key to the game.” 

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We understand Hallmark's end game here. One, they obviously want to capitalize on puppy Bowl success. Two, cats are cool. (Check out the inset meme that Hallmark just made to go along with its hip new press release.) Three, the network probably thought the Puppy Bowl was being a bit discriminatory by relegating the kittens to the halftime show. While we admit that we, too, are somewhat speciesist, we hold firm to our belief that Kitten Bowl will not work. 

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Kittens are difficult. We've learned recently from the cat actors on Broadway in Breakfast at Tiffany's that cats are hard to work with. They are notoriously diva-ish. (We are purposefully ignoring the counter argument involving Helen Mirren's troublesome corgi.) In Maura Judkis's Washington Post story about the filming of the Puppy Bowl, she describes what happens when here.
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