There are some real advantages to running a dog for president. It would help, of course, if the dog was a governor, or at least a senator first, but we could make a case for an all-American common mongrel. People like strays. Everyone knows that dogs are really good runners, so that says it all. They don't care much which direction there are running in so the party can just let it off the leash and it will run toward the nearest reward.
One benefit of having a dog in the White House is that it would surely bark a lot which would scare the country's enemies and the dog would attack and bite any perceived threat regardless of reality.
Dogs can be trained to do almost anything. The party can run the dog so to speak and the dog can run the country. And the world I suppose.
I can see some concerns about press conferences and addresses to congress but no one other than journalists listen to them anyway. The country would save a lot on speech writers and fertilizer for the White House lawn.
Strategists would need to consider possible challenges from the cat party, the Democats. But they are generally poorly organized and full of hairballs so probably won't pose a big opposition. Besides, voters don't want a president that purrs and throws up a lot.
Oh, sure, there will be ‘wag the dog' jokes but every president has to put up with such unkindness from the press and media. It's the curse of service to one's country. Semper fi.
The cabinet should fall into line fairly easily. It won't be hard to find appropriate dogs for the various jobs: Secretary of State would, of course be a poodle, Secretary of Defense would be a Doberman or maybe a Rotweiler, depending on the mood of the populace. Health and Human Services: Cocker Spaniel? Interior: St. Bernard. Border Collie would have an obvious role. The economy? Rat Terrier? It goes on.
We haven't talked about the vice-presidency. Maybe there is a coyote available. Then there will come Supreme Court nominees. That could be a problem. Toto from Kansas would argue well but may not stick to the party line, too independent. A Great Dane has a certain demeanor and is certainly suitably big, looks good in a robe. Chihuahua doesn't quite have the chutzpah. Maybe a Spitz or a chow-chow will do. Purple tongue has certain grandeur.
It pays to take into account the appeal of the first lady. Has to be a collie or a Shitzu. Press secretary needs to be a dog of the people who can seem distant and friendly at the same time. Labrador. It's those eyes that get you.
Yes, I think the Dog Party has the next election sewed up. Need to have a slogan: “I want your pants”. No, that brings up all sorts of problems. “Sniff my…” no, no, no. “Prick up your ears..” This is not going well. “We're number woof!” okay that'll do it.
See you in the dog house.
Jack Wilson is a writer and artist in Tempe, Arizona:
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Game Preview: Dog's Life I don't know why I dropped bucks on this game, but it was used, scratched like hell and I can take it back for a full refund within 30 days! (I'll go back and get something good tomorrow!) Anyways, yea this game piqued my curiosity so I nabbed it after work today. I'm betting it would be fun if it wasn't so incredibly cheesy! Seriously, it's almost sickening! ENJOY THE PREVIEW! I'm still looking for a new game to play! www.bonersgames.com
Q&A: What are some jokes like the one “If life gives you melons… you probably are dyslexic.”?
Q&A: What breed of dog would be good with cats?
Q&A: How do I get my dog to jump up on high objects eg bed?
Question by Lisa L: How do I get my dog to jump up on high objects eg bed? My dog just doesn't want to jump up on high objects! I have tried everything, I've put delicious snacks on the bed, I've encouraged him by pretending to be a dog myself and jumping on it! And […]
lol
I learned something disturbing about this game. Don’t ask me what I was thinking when I came up with this. Anyway, I wanted to get revenge on the psycho bitch in the grocery store. I kept trying to get Jake to pee on her, but all she did was ignore me apart from commenting on the smell. So I had Jake take a dump and pick up his turd, so I could throw it at her. I found out that, if he barks while the turd is in his mouth, there’s a squish sound as well.
nope. ive had this game before. it has way more than five
i need to rebuy this game
Lol this was a good and fun and relaxing game. Loved it. 🙂
i bought this game for my younger sister i got it from game (in england) for £2.50 still in the foil rap i played the next day while she was asleep and in the hour she was asleep im pwned the game and rescued the stupid dog daisy stupid furball dog should go and die why did u save her both daisy and jake should have been made into cat food
I just love the music in this game! I played it 3 times or so ;D
i need to rebuy this game
how do they keep it rated 3+ when at the end she says get your doggy asses into the machine?
WHERE DID YOU GET IT??????? i want this game really bad!!!
Um I got it at gamestop but that was like 4 years ago so idk.
das ok i just got the game. its awesome!!!! im at the dog pound. i just rescued the dogs in cages.now i need more bones for the doberman! AHH!!! i dont feel like lookin -_-
50purples gets me a bone..and the more bones the better, if u took it in the way i did..its pretty sick >.>
I live in Finland and I still see that game at shops X”D Luckily I have it!
I have this game and love it. ^^ But SERIOUSLY the voice acting is….really…..cheesy…though I have to say its a lot of fun.
use the cheats for the doberman.
bark bark bark, growl growl growl, poo. then you should hear a sound and you go menu and find cheats, then set the amount of bones you want.
yea, like running around and finding glitches and stuff, and having fun with the cheats xD
It’s rated T 😛
Wayne can i play with the nice doggies?
I TOLD YOU NO! like his mom! tis game is da bomb!
i play it all da time.
daisy’s ugly XP lol
oops i meant to thumb up your comment but i missed and thumbed down D’:
What is this, I don’t even.
This game was my Childhood :D
Fcking loved this game used to nerd it out every day, took me months to find it in shops aswell!