Question by cookie monster: I just found out that my dog died. Any good jokes to cheer me up?
My dog died just about two days ago and i feel sad, I need some jokes to possibly make me laugh. Any kind of joke will work.
Best answer:
Answer by born tipsy
i think the joke is on u if ur dog died 2 days ago and u just found out
thats comedy
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Three friends bus ride
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three friends boarded a house-full bus. some how they sneaked their way in the centre of the bus. They stopped besides a seat which was occupied by three girls.
The girls offered them seat on one condition..that they(girls) will seat on their(men) laps after having the seat. The men agreed to the condition and had the seat and the girls on their lap as well.
After some time one girl said to the man on whose lap she was sitting, “Are you an electrical engineer?”. The man was surprised and replied “yes but how did you know that.”
The girl replied “I am receiving shocks from your solder gun”.
After some time another girl asked to the man on whose lap she was sitting, “Are you a mechanical engineer.” The man was also surprised and replied “yes but how did you know that.”
On that the girl replied “your piston is hurting my cylinder.”
After some time the third girl asked her man if he was a civil engineer. The man was also surprised and asked her how she knew that.
The third girl replied “Your dam has broken and flooded my village.”
A family of tomatoes were walking down the street, but the little one kept lagging behind. The dad tomato stepped on the little tomato, and said “ketchup!”
An Irishman, a Scotsman, an Australian, a Priest, a Bishop, a Rabbi, a blonde, a brunette, a penguin, a duck and a horse walk into a bar and the Barman says – “Is this some kind of a joke?”
i’m sorry about your dog & i hope you cheer up soon.
i read these one day when i was bored & some of them are pretty funny & they are true too ; http://www.rd.com/clean-jokes-and-laughs/our-50-funniest-true-stories/article93740.html
& here’s another good joke that i liked ;
Papa Turtle is telling his son a bedtime story. “Once upon a time, there was a white bunny.”
“Aw, c’mon, Dad,” says the boy. “That’s kid stuff. What about some science fiction?”
“All right. Once upon a time, there was a bunny in outer space …”
“Dad! Make it more grown-up.”
“Okay, okay. Promise you won’t tell Mom.”
“I swear.”
“Once upon a time, there was a naked bunny …”
In the sky, there was a plane that was about to crash, so they had to drop some of the load. They dropped a soccer ball, a tennis ball, and a bomb. Meanwhile, two men were walking in the woods when they came across a little boy crying.
“Why are you crying?” The two men asked.
“Because a soccer ball just hit me in the face.” The boy cried.
They said they were sorry, and continued on their hike. A little while later they came across a little girl crying.
“Why are you crying, little girl?” The two men asked.
“Because I was playing with my dolls when a tennis ball hit me in the face.” The little girl cried.
The men said they were sorry and continued on their hike. A little while later they came across an old lady laughing her butt off.
“Why are you laughing so hard?” The two men asked.
“Because I just farted and blew up my house!”
A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.
Mom : “Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play.”
Son : “But mom, there’s no one to play with.”
Mom : “I’ll play with you, what do you wanna play?”
Son : “Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed.”
The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad’s fishing hat and lit up one of his dad’s cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : “Now what do I do?”
Son : “Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream.”
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I’m sorry for your dog.
What do you call a girl with one leg?
Eileen (I lean)
What if the same girl is Chinese?
Irene.
What about a guy with no legs?
Neil (kneel).
What do you call a waterskiier with no arms/legs?
Skip.
What do you call a quadriplegic at your door?
Matt.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a guy without arms or legs in a swimming pool?
Bob.
What do you call a guy without arms or legs in a maibox?
Bill.
What do you call an abortion in Prague?
A cancelled Czech.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.